Book of the Month
"The Magnificent Ruins" by Nayantara Roy
​A young Indian American editor from Brooklyn returns to Kolkata when she learns that she has inherited her family’s enormous ancestral home, and the secrets that lie within it.
A scarily accurate portrayal of female rage and generational trauma that is too common in immigrant households. This book examines the not so happily-ever after of the classic scenario: Immigrant parents emotionally blackmail an ambitious and creative daughter into marriage at a young age to protect themselves against judgement, but ultimately sacrifice their own child’s emotional wellbeing in the process of appeasing society. There are many aspects of Eastern culture that I cherish, but one that I despise is the pressure imposed on women. Many families employ tough love, assuming that it will encourage resiliency, but what actually emerges in the absence of empathy and encouragement is a deep-rooted sense of insecurity that is extremely difficult to undo. We’re constantly criticized, judged, and dismissed - even by the people who should be our allies. From “If you go on vacation, what is your husband going to do about food?” and “You can’t prioritize both your career and your family”, I’ve heard it all despite growing up in America. The people who make these kind of comments love promoting the false narrative you must put your own desires and needs aside in order for your family to thrive but what they refuse to acknowledge is constant sacrifice does not create a happy home: it only creates one full of palpable resentment. This was one of those rare books that felt like I was reading my own inner dialogue.
Whenever we travel to new locations, I try to read a book set in that region to gain some perspective on the history and culture. For our recent trip to Tanzania, I choose Paradise, a coming-of-age novel of a young boy in East Africa on the brink of colonization. Yusuf is sold into servitude to repay his family’s debt and we explore themes of social hierarchies, yearning for love, and loss of identity as we follow his journey. To be honest, I struggled with this book because I kept finding myself losing interest as it isn’t big on plot as much as it is on exploring the deeper/heavier themes of colonization and silencing of innocent voices. Although there isn't much of a storyline to get attached to, it did pique my curiosity regarding the history of East Africa - especially as the book doesn’t shy away from addressing the conflicts and misassumptions that arise in the intersecting dynamics of diverse populations (Swahili, Arab, Indian, African, and European). Overall, this one fell flat for me, but I appreciate it making me a little more knowledgeable about a region I previously knew nothing about.
Set in 1800's China during the period of foot-binding and rigid social hierarchy, The Lotus Shoes is a story of a servant girl with exceptional talent and her privileged mistress. As their lives intertwine through betrayal, scandal, and unexpected sisterhood, they each find the courage to voice their desires and rewrite their destinies. We may no longer allow servitude or equate delicate feet to a strong marriage proposal, but many of the themes from The Lotus Shoes are just as relevant today. In both Eastern and Western cultures, superficial qualities continue to determine how people view each other in society and women are still constantly criticized for their choices and their wishes. A captivating story full of vivid imagery and two characters who refuse to bend to society, both in their own unique way.
This American Woman by Zarna Garg
A couple years ago, my social media pages started popping up reels of an Indian aunty doing stand up comedy delivering hilarious zingers - all while wearing her bindi and kurti tops. I rushed to the comments section, my first thought being “oh no, I hope people aren’t being mean to her.” Quite the opposite - people were raving about her fearless authenticity! In her memoir “This American Woman”, Zarna Garg shares her not so glamorous behind the scenes of becoming the sensation she is today. Between couch-surfing to escape an arranged marriage to bombarding producers about her screenplay to taking charge as a stay-at-home mom, her unwavering resilience and unapologetic authenticity lead her to discovering her calling in comedy. Often when I see “normal people” who have made it big, I tend to convince myself their circumstances are too different from mine to even compare, but while reading Zara’s story, there were so many moments that mirrored the household I grew up in (down to my own mom making me teach my class about Diwali) that left me genuinely believing that there’s no such thing as thinking too big.